Hello, everyone! I'm back from war. If you want to know how well (or rather how bad) I did for my exam, I don't know. No, really. Sometimes when I think I did pretty well, my result turned out to be pretty bad and sometimes when I think I did bad, it turned out much better than what I was expecting. So yeah, I don't know. But all these don't matter anymore because I am done with my exam and it's good-very-bye to A Levels! Okay, not exactly, until I get my result actually but let's not be pessimistic about this. What important is, I have now 3 months of free-time until my degree is starting so yay!
My point today isn't about my A Level's adventure. I'll save this topic for the day I'm getting my results, if, I have the mood of course.
I've been wanting to post this for quite some time now, since my birthday, but I never had the chance. Come to think of it, so far, I actually have lesser time for myself after exam than before or even during. I'm not complaining, but people are expecting me to be really free after exams and passing me all the duties plus, combining with all the plans I have initially, I don't have much free time left. Though, it was really nice meeting up with so many friends that I haven't seen in awhile.
I'll be flying to Taiwan on Wednesday and will be staying there for 7 days so I couldn't think of a better time to blog than now. Otherwise, I'll have to wait till I'm back, which, by the time I'll have more things to blog about and forget entirely about this topic. I have like, a lot of topics in my mind recently so, I guess I'll have to let this go tonight.
As you may or may not know, I turned 19 on the 1st of June this year and for some reason, I felt really really good about it this year. No, it wasn't the best surprise among all the other years, and the celebrations weren't the best I ever had but I think that it was the best birthday ever and it was the best few days of my life. I'm not saying that the celebrations and surprises weren't amazing, they definitely were. Just, comparing to the other years, I'm pretty sure this year's isn't the best, but, the other years didn't give me the feeling I have this year. The other years always made me feel a little, off.
Birthdays to me are amazing, and I used to think they were very important. I used to have expectations and when I don't get what I was expecting, I feel sad. Eventhough it seems to me now that it was an amazing celebration. I used to be sad if, for instance, my friends threw a party for me and everyone had a holy good time but if one or few of my good friends (at least I think so) didn't show up or even wish me, the whole celebration just doesn't seem good enough anymore. Well, this was what I used to think. I don't anymore of course. I can't be expecting everyone to remember my birthday when I do forget some and that it wouldn't be fair to all the amazing people who made efforts making me happy. I guess, it is also a chance to know who really are our closer friends.
The thing about this year is, it doesn't feel off, it feels perfect, just right. I'm not sure if it was just me, if I have become more grateful than I used to be or that everyone around me has become more amazing. I was reading all the birthday wishes around 4am and silently tearing on my bed. Partly it's because my friends have amazing writing skills but also, I was really really glad and blessed to know that there are people who care for me out there, people who notice the little things, people who will do so much for me. Cause all I need is to know that when I'm on my knees, someone is going to pull me up and help me stand.
It's really nice to be reminded of all the fond memories with everyone, of all the crazy and happy times. It's really nice to have friends who have been through so much with you, who have stood by you for so many years through thick and thin and is still standing there. It's really nice to know that you have friends that would be there for you whenever you need them, that would do anything to turn that frown upside down. I can write a whole essay about friends (and maybe I will) because only God knows how much I truly appreciate every friendship I have with my friends. Not just old ones, each and everyone of them.
Maybe partly it was because of Jacqueline that made us all grow and learn to appreciate everyone and everything more. Or partly is because we're growing up and we're losing things around us so we have learnt to be more grateful. But I really am grateful for all the people who have ever been a part of my life, my family, my friends, strangers, assholes, everyone, thank you. I am blessed, and I have God to thank for. I know I don't deserve all these so I'm thankful, and I'm really happy.
I did not write all these to brag about how blessed I am and how amazing my friends are. This post is for them. It's for all of you guys who have ever turned my frown upside down, who have ever wipe my tears away from my cheek, who have ever lend me a shoulder to lean on, who have ever made the effort to cheer me up, who have ever stayed up late chatting with me, who have ever did something crazy with me, and the list goes on. For who I am today, I have you guys to thank for. I just want you guys to know that I am willing to do whatever you guys are willing to do for me too. And that I remember (hopefully) every single second I spent with you guys and I will never take you guys for granted. I appreciate every single gesture you guys made, truly, and sincerely. I can never thank you guys enough.
Much love to everyone of you, xx
